The Second Contest -- A Smutty Seinfeld Story
The Second Contest -- A Smutty Seinfeld Story
Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer sat at their usual booths at Monk's, their favorite diner.
"Gee, George, it's a shame about Susan," Jerry offered, trying to sound sincere.
"Yeah, well ... yeah." George was still trying to cover up his glee at escaping the marriage vows by his fiancee's untimely death.
"Still," Kramer said, sipping his soda loudly, "it's kind of a good thing."
Elaine looked at him, shocked. "How can you say that? A woman has died."
Kramer put his glass down with a bang. "I think it's kinda obvious that Georgie-boy here needs to get a little more pussy before he settles down."
"What?" Elaine was stunned.
Jerry just nodded. "I agree."
"Hey!" George said, outraged, "I'll have you know I've had plenty of pussy in my life."
"I can't believe you're all sitting around here talking about this in front of me," Elaine said, shocked.
"Oh, get over it," Jerry said. "You're worse than the rest of us when it comes to talking about fucking."
Elaine glared at her former boyfriend, then calmed down. "I guess you're right about that."
"Who cares about that?" George said, still angry. "Let's get back to me. I've fucked a lot of women in my life! Dozens! A hundred at least!"
"A hundred?" Jerry scoffed.
"OK, maybe a couple dozen," George said, a little humbled.
"Name 'em," Kramer shot back.
"Name 'em?" George said. "I can't name 'em. I can't remember their names."
"OK, then, tell what you do remember about them," Jerry said.
George thought. "Well, there was Susan, of course. Then that one woman with the male roommate. Then the woman whose grandmother's funeral I went to. And that antique store woman. And the one who I wanted to think we were gay. And that woman I dated, then Jerry dated. And that woman who got the nose job. Boy, I had to screw her with my eyes closed."
"OK, that's seven," Jerry said. "Who else?"
George thought, then admitted. "That's it."
"Seven?" Elaine said, snickering. "That's it?"
"Hey," George said, getting angry, "it's not how many boats are on your ocean, it's how big the waves are."
"What?" Elaine said.
"I think you mean, 'It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean."
"That makes no sense," George said. "It's not how many boats .."
Elaine cut him off. "What are you trying to say?"
"I'm saying I'm a great fuck," George said, proudly.
"Ha!" Kramer said. "I'm the best fuck at this table."
"Gentlemen," Jerry said, scoffing. "I beg to differ. I'm the best fuck here."
"Ha!" Elaine snorted. "You couldn't even make me cum in all the times we fucked."
"That's because it was before I got good," Jerry countered. "I've had plenty of women since we screwed, and they taught me a thing or two about fucking."
"Well, there's only one way to settle this, you know," Elaine said, sitting back, folding her arms.
"What's that?" Kramer asked.
"Another contest," she said.
"You mean, like when we saw who could go without beating off the longest?" Jerry asked.
"Exactly," Elaine answered. "Except this time, I'm going to have to be the judge, so I should get some of the money up front."
Jerry looked at Elaine in disbelief. "Are you saying ...?"
"Yup," she said, smiling. "I'm going to have to fuck all of you."
George couldn't believe his ears. He's wanted to bang Elaine ever since he met her, but he'd always been a little afraid of her. "Are you serious?"
"Sure," she answered. "You guys all put up $500 each. I get half, and the winner gets the other half. Deal?"
Jerry shrugged. "I'm game."
George nodded. "Count me in!"
"Giddyup!" Kramer shouted.
They shook hands on the deal.
"OK, how do we decide who goes first?" Jerry asked.
"Pick a number between one and 10," Elaine said.
"Two! No, Six!" George blurted out.
"Which one you want?" Jerry asked, angry.
"Seven!" That's it! I want seven!"
"I want two," Jerry said.
"Ten," Kramer said.
"It's two," Elaine said. "Jerry's first."
George pounded his head on the table. "That was my first number!"
"OK, guess again."
"Two!" George blurted out.
"Ten," Kramer said.
"It's nine," Elaine said. "Kramer's second. George is last."
"You dope!" Jerry said, hitting George on the back of the head. "She just picked two! Why did you think she'd pick it again!"
"Hey! It coulda happened!"
That night, Jerry sat on the couch in his apartment, reading Penthouse. His cock was pressing against his pants, making his Dockers a tent. He thought about whacking off, but he didn't want to get the couch dirty. He was about to go into the bathroom to masturbate when the door buzzer went off. He got up and pressed the button. "Yeah?"
"'Mon up." He buzzed her in, just like he did a thousand times before. He stashed the magazine behind a sofa cushion and sat down on the sofa, trying to cover his hard-on with a pillow. If he could just sit still for a little while, the swelling would go down and Elaine would never notice the difference.
Elaine walked in, wearing a trenchcoat. She shut the door behind her. "You ready?" she said, in the same sultry voice she had used on the tape recorder during one of Jerry's acts, the tape that had turned Jerry, George and Kramer on.
"Ready for what?"
She shed the coat, letting in drop on the floor. She stood there in a white teddy. The lace did little to hold back her shapely boobs. Her darkened nipples pressed against the faint material.
Jerry was stunned. He had forgotten all about the contest. He had seen Elaine naked before, of course, but he forgot how fuckable she was.
His eyes traveled from her boobs down her flat stomach to the white panties. He saw the junction of her thighs. She was as hairy as he remembered, some of her pubic hairs spilling out from the sides of the panties. He could feel his dick stiffen even further. He shifted in his seat, the rubbing of the pillow warning him that he was on the verge of cumming, even though she hadn't touched him yet.
She strutted over to the sofa, sitting down next to him.
"Uh," Jerry said, feeling his dick, already close to exploding, pressing against the pillow, "can we do this some other time?"
She shook her head. "It's time. You go first. It's time to put up or shut up."
She slid over, pressing her lips against his. He felt her tongue slip between his lips as he tried desperately to keep from cumming. She slid her hand under the pillow, feeling his hardened cock through his pants.
Wow, she thought as she felt his hard cock. I'm really turning him on.
He absent-mindedly rubbed up against her hand, trying desperately not to cum. But she rubbed him through his trousers and he came.
Elaine felt the dampness right away, and she pulled away, shocked. "Did you cum?"
Jerry could only nod weakly.
She screwed up her face in a pout. "This is just like when we were together. You always got your rocks off then left me lying there with nothing to do but play with my pussy. You're such a baby."
"I couldn't help it," Jerry whined. "I was reading a Penthouse before you came in! I forgot you were coming over!"
She got up off the couch. "You forgot I was coming over to fuck you? That's it! You're out of the contest!"
"No! You gotta give me another chance!"
She picked her coat up off the floor and put it on. "Forget it, Seinfeld!" She said, storming out the door, slamming it behind her.
Jerry jumped up to run after her, then looked down at the mess in his pants. He ran to the bathroom to clean up before he got any stains on his floor.
She knocked on Kramer's door, across the hall. Cosmo Kramer answered, wearing a smoking jacket and puffing on a big cigar.
"Good evening, Elaine," he said, just as suave as he could. "I've been expecting you."
"Hiya, Kramer," she said. She wasn't particularly looking forward to sleeping with Kramer because she had never found him attractive. But she wanted the money.
"Please make yourself comfortable" Kramer said, smoothly. "Can I get you a drink?"
"What do you have?" She sat down on the couch.
"I've got wine, champagne, Snapple, scotch ..."
"Give me some scotch," Elaine ordered.
"Okie-doke." He strolled over to his bar, then tossed a couple of ice cubes in a glass and poured some scotch. He handed her the glass, then tried to sit next to her on the couch, but missed and ended up sitting on the floor.
"So, how do you want to do this?" she asked.
"However you want," he answered. "That's part of what makes me a great lover. I do whatever the lady says."
"Oh, yeah," he answered.
"So," Elaine said, sitting back, "if I were to tell you to take all your clothes off right now ..."
Kramer stumbled to his feet. He took off his robe, tossing it over to the side, knocking over a lamp in the process. He fumbled with the buttons of his pajama shirt, failing to undo them. Finally he just ripped it off, revealing a hairy sunken chest. Then he yanked his pants down, tripping over them as he struggled to get them off his feet. Finally, he stood in front of Elaine.
She gasped as she took a look at his cock. She had always known he must be big because he was a big man, but she never dreamed that he was this big. His dick was nowhere near erect, but it was already over 10 inches long! He was uncircumcised, so the head just barely peeked out of the foreskin. It looked like a horse's dick to her. This was the biggest cock she had ever seen!
"Oh my god," she moaned.
He posed for her, hands on his hips. "That's what everybody says, baby. What do you want me to do now?"
She stood up and took off her coat. He nearly fell over when he got a look at her compact but voluptuous body. She hooked her fingers in her panty strings, then slowly slid them over her waist. She let them drop to the floor.
"On your knees," she said.
Kramer dropped, then walked over to where she stood, like a dog.
"Lick my pussy," she ordered.
"Aye-aye," he answered. He slid his hands up her smooth thighs, grabbing an asscheek in each hand. Then he buried his face in her crotch.
"Ooooh," she moaned from the shock of sensation.
Kramer licked Elaine's pussy like a pro. He ran his tongue along the inner lips, taking time to nibble on her clit. She had to admit, even though Kramer looked like a doofus, he could eat pussy.
"Yes, Kramer, eat my cunt. Lick me. Oooooh, it feels sooooo gooood..." she moaned.
He took her to the brink of cumming, then backed off. She looked up in surprise.
"What are you doing?"
He smiled as he positioned his massive cock at her cunt. "It's showtime," he groaned.
He pushed the head past her lips. She had never felt so filled before, and she knew he wasn't even all the way in yet.
"Slow, Kramer. Slow."
"Oooh, yeah." Kramer began fucking her in slow motions, digging deeper and deeper with his dick, trying to bury as much of his cock in her as he could. He was only three quarters in and felt himself touching bottom.
Elaine grabbed his asscheeks, her fingernails digging in as she pulled him in. "Fuck me, ooh, fuck me baby"
Kramer's head moved in spastic motions as he continued fucking Elaine.
She was just getting into the groove of the fucking when she felt Kramer explode in her cunt.
"Oooooh, yeah!" he bellowed. "Yes! Yes!"
She felt only a couple of blasts of cum in her before he collapsed on her. His dick softened and slipped out of her cunt quickly, leaving her unsatisfied.
"So," Kramer said, with a satisfied look on his face. "What do you think of Kramer now?"
"Is that it?" Elaine said.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean I haven't cum yet. What are you going to do about that?"
"Do? What do you expect me to do? I just cum in there. You don't expect me to eat you now, do you? And I'm not going to finger-fuck you. That's disgusting."
She couldn't believe her ears. "You selfish bastard!"
"Hey," he said with a smug expression. "I'm Kramer. You're bitching now, but tomorrow you'll be begging for more."
"Wrong, Dorkface. Tomorrow morning I'll be handing $750 to George. He can't possibly be a worse fuck than you are."
She gathered her things together and left, pissed off.
Elaine went to George's apartment. She rang the bell several times, but nobody answered. He must be at work, she thought. Fortunately, she had his spare key, just like he had hers in case of an emergency. They were keymates. She let herself in, locking the door behind her.
She went into the bedroom and doffed her trenchcoat. She slid into the bed. I'll surprise the little bastard.
She stared at the ceiling, smiling. No matter how bad George was, she was going to give him the prize money. That'd show Jerry the premature ejaculator and Kramer the insensitive prick.
Suddenly, she heard the key turn in the lock on the front door.
She decided to strike a pose to turn George on. She got on her knees and tossed her hair back, doing her best impression of Cindy Crawford.
Into the bedroom door walked Susan, George's supposedly dead fiancee'.
"Elaine?" she exclaimed.
Susan was so happy to see someone she knew she didn't question why Elaine was in George's bed in a teddy. She just rushed forward and hugged her, nearly knocking the wind out of Elaine. "My God, you wouldn't believe what happened to me."
Elaine was flabbergasted. "We ... we ... we all thought you were dead! We went to your funeral!"
"That wasn't me. That was somebody else! The hospital screwed up! And since my parents insisted on a closed casket, nobody knew it was somebody else! I was in a coma. I just woke up three days ago! I just gave my father a heart attack!. Where's George?"
"He's ... uh ... he's ... uh ..."
Suddenly, Susan noticed Elaine's outfit. "And what the fuck are you doing in his bed, half naked?"
"I can explain..." Elaine started weakly.
"You'll do more than explain, you bitch," she barked. "What is this? I'm dead, and you move in on my fiance'? You're going to pay for this, you stuck-up little bitch!"
She grabbed the lace strings that held the top of Elaine's nightie on, revealing her small but firm breasts. She reached out and twisted the brunette's right nipple, painfully. "You're going to do exactly what I say."
"Quiet!" Susan suddenly slapped Elaine's mouth. "I haven't had a decent fuck since George and I got engaged. I knew I was making a mistake giving up women, but it wasn't until right now that I realized what I wanted more than anything. A female slave. A fuck-slave."
"You can't ..."
"I said quiet, you slut!" Susan slapped Elaine's mouth again, harder. "You do not speak until I say so, understand?"
Elaine nodded, without a word.
"You're catching on, bitch." Susan said, a wicked smile on her face. "Now, you do whatever I say, or you'll catch hell like you've never caught it before." The blonde took off her blouse and skirt, revealing a one-piece white silk slip. She sat on the edge of the bed. "You will refer to me as Master. Do you understand?"
Elaine was on the edge of tears in fear. The almost-Amazon blonde had always intimidated her a little, but now she was petrified. She knew Susan could whip her in a fight, and badly. "Yes, Master," she whimpered.
"Take the nightie off the rest of the way."
Elaine slipped off the rest of her lingerie. Her breasts bounced slightly as she did that, the brown nipples hardening.
Susan licked her lips as she saw Elaine's pussy come into view. She had always been a little attracted to the smaller woman, but never did anything about it because she was with George. Now that she could see Elaine was having some sort of sick affair with George, it was payback time.
"Start playing with your tits," Susan ordered.
Elaine reached up and started fondling her breasts.
"Stroke them," Susan said, in a softer voice. "Tell me how much you love it."
Elaine felt her breasts becoming more sensitive with each stroke, "I love playing with my tits, Master. They feel soooo goooood."
"Pull on the nipples," Susan cooed.
Elaine did as she was told, pulling the brown nubs, rolling them between her fingers.
Susan couldn't resist feeling her own breasts through her silken slip. "Tell me how it feels."
"My tits feel warm and goood," Elaine moaned. "My nipples are soooo hard."
"You love to play with your tits, don't you, slave?"
"Yeeesssss, Master," Elaine said, totally getting into her slave role.
"And you love it when someone licks them for you, don't you?"
"Yeessss," Elaine moaned.
Susan leaned forward, pursing her lips into a small "O" as she neared Elaine's left breast. Elaine gasped as she felt the lips clamp onto the nipple. She felt Susan's tongue slide over her nipple, sending a charge of pleasure through her body. The blonde then moved her mouth to the other breast, trailing saliva across Elaine's chest as she went.
Susan loved the feel of the nipples in her mouth. She rubbed them with her tongue, making smacking noises as she nibbled on them.
"Suck me, Master," Elaine said, stringing her fingers through Susan's hair, trying to feed as much of her breasts into the warm mouth as she could.
Susan pulled back then. "Get up, slave."
Elaine was slow to follow the order, so Susan slapped her firm ass as she reluctantly got up from the bed.
Elaine winced from the pain as she stood, naked before her master. Susan took in the delightful view -- Elaine's breast, still moist from her mouth. Elaine's wide hips, which looked appetizing on such a small woman. Her dark pussy hair, with contrasted with the porcelain skin.
Susan stood and shed her slip.
"Come to me, slave," Susan growled,
Elaine approached slowly, uncertain of what was to happen.
"Kiss me, Elaine."
Elaine wrapped her arms around the taller woman's neck. her breasts fitting neatly under Susan's own as they pressed into her master's body.
Susan wrapped her arms around the smaller woman, feeling the hard nipples against her skin.
Susan then raised one hand to Elaine's head and drew it to her. They kissed, their lips parting as they met. Susan, firmly in control, slid her tongue into her slave's mouth.
Elaine slid her hands all over her master's body, moaning into Susan's mouth.
Susan pulled back a bit, breaking the kiss. Even though she was the master, she could no longer hold back from doing the things she wanted to do to Elaine.
Susan sat down in a chair across from the bed. She felt her moistness of her own pussy as she sat. She hadn't been this excited in ages.
Elaine watched as her master put her hand on her blonde pussy and begin massaging the outer lips. Susan slid forward on the seat, spreading her legs wide. She ran a hand down her stomach to the thick patch of blonde hair, brushing her fingers across her outer lips. She felt close to cumming, but she wanted to cum in Elaine's mouth.
"Get your ass over here, slave," she moaned through gritted teeth.
Elaine dropped to her knees and crawled to Susan.
"Good slave. Now look at my pussy."
Elaine did as she was told. She licked her lips in anticipation.
Susan spread her cunt lips with her hand. "You want to lick me, don't you?"
Susan slid her index finger between the moist flaps of skin into herself. Elaine saw the finger get damper and damper as her new master plunged the finger into herself.
Susan moved her finger all around, moving with a fucking rhythm, her pussy making juicy sounds as she stuck it in. Elaine couldn't look away. Susan reached up with her other hand and began kneading her right tit. She felt ever closer to cumming, not wanting to stop. But she forced herself to. "OK, slave," she moaned as she dropped her hands to her sides. Make me cum. Lick your master's pussy!"
Elaine dove in, her hair spreading across Susan's thighs as she stuck her tongue into Susan's juicy depths. Elaine licked the pussy juice like a little girl eating a popsicle. She couldn't get enough.
Susan moaned as the slave's rough tongue slid over her cunt. She threaded her hands in Elaine's dark hair, pushing the smaller woman deeper into her. "Fuck me! Lick my cunt!"
Elaine grabbed Susan's ass, trying to get as much of her into her mouth as she could. She felt the blonde pussy hair tickle her nose as she continued to devour her master's twat.
Susan was close to cumming, and she knew nothing could stop it now. Elaine was now using her tongue as a cock, driving Susan over the edge. The master stiffened as the first waves of the orgasm hit. Her legs flailed as she felt wave after wave of pleasure shock her body.
"YESSSS!!!! "FUCK!!!!" Susan screamed as blast after blast of pussy juice squirted into Elaine's open mouth.
Susan felt like she was dying again as all her energy left her body as the orgasm faded. She didn't have the energy to move as Elaine kept licking her pussy, trying to savor every last drop of her juices.
"Have you ever fucked a woman before, slave?"
"Not bad for a beginner." Susan didn't want to let Elaine know that was the best pussy licking she had ever had. "As a reward, I'm going to let you cum now."
"Thank you, Master." Elaine jumped up eagerly.
Susan smiled. She wondered Elaine would be so eager if she knew what she had planned.
"Get on the bed, slave. I'll be right back."
Elaine jumped on the bed as Susan went into the bathroom. She emerged seconds later with a jar. Elaine was spread-eagle on the bed, expecting to have her cunt licked.
"Get on all fours, slave."
Susan slapped Elaine hard on the mouth. "I said, get on all fours, you bitch!"
Elaine whimpered as she obeyed.
"Don't forget your place, slave. You are here to serve me. You do what I say. And you will cum only when I want you to, and how I want you to."
Susan picked her purse up and pulled out a eight-inch cock- shaped vibrator. She took it everywhere she went. Especially since she and George had been going out, since George only had a five- inch dick.
Susan opened the jar of vasoline she had gotten from the bathroom and slicked up the plastic dick. "You know what I'm going to do, slave?"
"No?" Elaine whined, afraid to look up.
"I'm going to fuck you up the ass."
Elaine jumped up. "Now, wait. Fun is fun, but ..."
Susan dropped the dildo on the bed and slapped Elaine's ass repeatedly in a frenzy, driving the brunette down onto the mattress.
"Stop! Ow! Stop! Please, don't!" Elaine cried, trying to escape the stinging blows.
"Shut up! Sit still!" Susan was getting turned on as she saw Elaine's rounded white asscheeks turn red with pain. She sat on the smaller woman, pinning her to the bed.
Finally, Elaine quit struggling, but kept whimpering. "Don't do this to me. Pleeeease?"
Susan got off Elaine, moving behind her. "You've never been fucked up the ass, have you?"
Elaine shook her head.
Susan grabbed Elaine's hips and raised them until her ass was in the air. "Don't be afraid, my love."
Elaine wiped the tears from her eyes at Susan's unexpectedly gentle tone.
"I'll take your ass cherry gently, but I will fuck your ass," she said, firmly, like a teacher to a student. "From now on, you will do what I say, and if I say I'm going to fuck your ass, I will fuck your ass." She began to stroke Elaine's cunt with her hand, running two fingers along the outer lips and dipping into her damp honeypot.
Elaine began to breathe easier.
Susan then moved her face to Elaine's cunt as she began to rub some of the pussy juice around Elaine's virgin asshole.
The smaller woman began to moan, feeling the double sensations of Susan's talented tongue and the manipulations of her ass.
Susan then took the lubed-up dildo and began to stroke the entrance of Elaine's cunt with it. She slid the cock slowly into her slave. Elaine let out short breaths as the rod sank into her. Susan began easing her pussy-juice coated index finger into Elaine's ass at the same time.
Susan began moving the finger around, slowly loosening up Elaine's shitter.
Elaine was so focused on the cock in her pussy she didn't feel the finger in her ass as it went deeper and deeper. "Fuck me, Master," she cooed. "Fuuuck me with your cock. It's so haard."
When the finger in Elaine's ass slid out easily. Susan pulled the plastic cock from her grasping cunt, and placed the head at the tight shitter.
Elaine was too relaxed from the fucking to argue.
Susan began to push, and the dickhead popped inside, but went no deeper.
"Ooooo...don't! Stop...it hurts!" Elaine begged.
"Shut up, slave!" Susan slapped Elaine's ass as she pushed harder and harder, sliding the dick in with short strokes.
"But I've never done that ..." she whimpered.
"Relax your ass muscles," Susan commanded through gritted teeth. "It'll go in easier if you just relax."
"Pleeeeease, stoooooop!" Elaine whined, trying desperately to unclench her ass muscles. She felt like a steel rod was being jammed up her butt.
Susan continued to push the dildo in, not paying attention to Elaine's cries. She was getting off on the sight of the plastic dick being swallowed by Elaine's unwilling ass. Finally, the dildo was in as far as it would go.
Elaine kept screaming and crying. She felt like she was about to be torn in two.
Feeling Elaine relax a little, Susan started thrusting, savagely raping the defenseless ass with glee. She shoved two fingers up Elaine's cunt, fucking her there in time with the dildo.
Elaine was still sobbing, and she felt the pain still, but it was being replaced by a different feeling. She had never felt so full in her life. She felt her orgasm starting to build.
"Fuck my ass! Deeper! Deeper! Ooooh, Master! Harder! Haaaaaarder!!!!!"
Susan attacked Elaine's asshole with glee, shoving it in faster and faster as Elaine humped back against the dildo. "I knew you'd love it, you slut. Fuck that cock!"
Then Elaine came in a blast of cum, coating Susan's hand. Elaine howled in pleasure as she was overcome with wave after wave of pure pleasure. She collapsed on the bed, half unconscious, with the dildo still sticking out her ass. Susan pulled it out, and lay next to Elaine. The smaller woman cuddled up next to Susan, sucking on her nipple like a baby.
"Good slave," Susan cooed.
The two were so satisfied they didn't hear the front door open. George walked into the bedroom.
"Oh, my God! Susan!"
"George," Susan said, coldly.
"George?" Elaine said, exhausted,
"Elaine?" George shouted. Then he saw that the two of them were naked, and had obviously fucked. "Oh my GOD!"
"George," Susan said, sitting up. "Get the fuck out of here."
"What? This is my apartment!"
"Not any more. I bought the building this morning and I'm throwing you out. That's what you get for leaving me for dead in that hospital, you jerk!"
"But ... but ..."
"Oh, and George," Elaine said, caressing Susan's breasts from behind, "I've already found a winner in the best fuck contest, so we don't need to fuck. I hope you'll understand."
"But ... but ..."
Elaine kissed Susan on the lips. "She's more man than you'll ever be."
Susan smiled. "Now get out of here before I call the police and have you arrested for trespassing."
George's body slumped in defeat. He turned to go, then turned around. "You know, since you two are naked anyway, what say I take off my clothes and ..."
Susan picked up the phone next to the bed. "I'm calling the police ..."
George turned and ran.
Susan turned to her lover. "You guys had a best fuck contest?"
"Boy, you guys are weird."